🥑 let's analyze a scene starter

Now that we’ve spent some time talking about scene starters, let’s break one down. This submission comes from reader Heather C., from one of her WIPs!

Let’s ask two important questions.

Does this opening hook the reader? I think so; here’s why:

• The word choices—loomed, mausoleum—give us a sense of foreboding. That’s an emotional setup for our expectations.

• Jem, our POV character, draws us into his viewpoint by letting us in on a secret and a truth: the justice hall represents something besides justice. It represents death.

You might feel differently—so, whether this opening hooks you or not, write down the reasons why. Consider how that relates to the beginnings of your own scenes.

What kind of scene does this opening set up? Obviously, we don’t have the rest of this scene, so let’s look at our expectations.

• By the end of this chapter, I want to know why the people of the low district see this place as a mausoleum. That’s an expectation the author needs to fill, and that will provide a nice bookend for the chapter

• The people of the justice hall are the key to that revelation. Whatever happens in this chapter will hinge on how the justice hall fulfills (or subverts) its role as the mausoleum. Jem will have an encounter with one specific person (or multiple people) who address that expectation for us.

  • Side note: naming the role of these people in this opening (e.g., justiciar) will draw us in even more.

• I want this comparison to linger in every aspect of Jem’s interaction with the justice hall. Every aspect that meets that desire—from the smell of the hallways to the corpselike appearance of the person he’s meeting here to the action/decision/revelation of death we’ll discover—will draw us further into the story.

• The author can also subvert that expectation in a powerful way. What if the value shift in this scene takes us from death to life? What if the person Jem meets defies his assumptions about this place?

I have no idea what happens next. But there’s an opportunity for interesting growth and change in this chapter. Justice vs. injustice, life vs. death—the values at stake are present in this opening.

Therefore, I’m hooked. Now the author can keep me hooked by addressing the promises they’ve made here.

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Want feedback on your own scene starters? Reply to this email with an opening line from one of your scenes and I may use it in a future Bite.

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